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We Laughed - Billy Bragg

Background

Maxine's story

Diagnosis

photo of max and dogOn the 30th November 2004 I was told that I was terminally ill with cancer and had six months or less to live.

I had had cancer in 2000. I had had both breasts removed. This second cancer was not from the original cancer. It was actually a different type of breast cancer. It was very aggressive cancer and had initially grown in the chest wall but had already spread as secondary carcinomas in to the lung in six places and into the lymph system. It was pronounced incurable. I was offered palliative care. Great!! How could some one with both breasts removed get another type of breast cancer!?

I have no fear of death and had not for many years. I had made many decisions in 2000 when I had faced cancer before. But what was I to do now? I have a daughter of fifteen and I did not want to leave her. I am a single parent and I just felt totally trapped. I felt very vulnerable and out of control. What were my options now?

Well... the next stage was meeting Jesus in Heaven. I had no problem with that - I just didn't want to die.

I have no problem with miracles. I wanted a miracle from the moment I found out I was terminal yet I knew it would be God's decision. Either he was going to heal me or I would die. I had no plan B. It was his choice. It was all down to him. Things were out of my control - yet I had an overwhelming feeling that every thing was going to be alright. Something inside me was not believing anything my specialist oncologist was saying.

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